Posted 09/15/2013 by Marlene Taborda in Untethered MMA
 
 

UFC Fight Night 28 Fight Review

By Mike Fagan, September 6th, 2013

His hands were shaking as he grabbed the doorknob. The door opened just a crack. He peeked into the hallway. Nothing. He pushed the door open just wide enough to fit his body through and gave a nervous glance left then right then left again. Looks like the coast is clear.

He was looking for the bald men. The bald men wearing tight t-shirts. The bald men shouting. Always shouting. With veins on the verge of bursting on their temples and necks.

The bald men had been following him for a week? A month? It felt like it would never end.

They caught him a handful of times, but they would just yell about buying things and watching things and call him a bitch over and over. Then they’d throw him in a room. The room had four white walls and a ceiling 50 feet in the air. A light bulb hung over an old leather recliner and a TV showing some sort of caged gladiatorial combat.

The door locked behind him. He watched the fighting for five, six hours at a time. One of the bald men was always yelling in the background. It made him nervous. When it was over, he heard the door unlock. He stared at it accusingly until he grew enough confidence to open it.

And that’s where he was now. He walked down the dimly lit hallway, passing a door on his left then his right and so on. He reached the end of the hallway. He saw a light to his right in the distance. Freedom. He walked, hurriedly, trying to avoid making noise. I’m free. I’m finally free!

“HEY! HEY YOU, DUMMY!”

Oh god, not them. Please not them. He looked back. The bald men were chasing him again. Two women – one blonde, one brunette – were with them. They’re beautiful. He kept running.

“We just want to talk!”

That was the brunette. He felt himself slowing down. What am I doing? They were gaining on him. The light seemed within reach.

“Please don’t go!”

The blonde. He could barely run now. No. I’m too close! He could see the outside world through the light, could smell the fresh cut grass. Just a few more steps…

The bald men tackled him to the ground. The women pulled off their faces, ugly now with snakes for hair. And the screeching. Placing his hands over his ears did nothing.

One of the bald men grabbed him by the collar and pulled his head off the floor.

“GOTCHA, BITCH!”

-Your next light heavyweight title challenger is Glover Teixeira, the guy about to get finished by Ryan Bader until he realized he was fighting Ryan Bader.

-The light heavyweight division is in a weird spot. Jon Jones has beat all the top-ten mainstays. He needs fresh challengers. The UFC is deathly afraid of throwing possible contenders in against the mainstays Jones has already beaten. Here is the combined list of guys Teixeira and Alexander Gustafsson have beat in the UFC:

Kyle Kingsbury

Fabio Maldonado

Quinton Jackson

James Te-Huna x2

Ryan Bader

Jared Hamman

Cyrille Diabate

Matt Hamill

Vladimir Matyushenko

Thiago Silva

Mauricio Rua

 

Notable omissions: Rashad Evans, Lyoto Machida, Dan Henderson, Phil Davis, Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, Gegard Mousasi

-Teixeira has still shown me nothing that indicates he can beat Jon Jones, which puts him in the company of every other fighter at 205 pounds. If anything, knockout aside, the Bader fight only gave me more doubts.

-When the next rankings come out, expect Ronaldo Souza to jump into the 3 spot (with Okami sliding to 6 or worse). I imagine he’s next in line for a title shot if Chris Weidman beats Anderson Silva again, and Silva will fight Vitor Belfort win or lose.

-Speaking of title shots! Looks like Joseph Benavidez earned another. His first round stoppage of Jussier Formiga puts him 4-1 at flyweight, with wins over the current 3, 5, and 10, cementing his spot as the number one challenger.

-I can’t remember the last time I watched the Ultimate Fighter. I’m looking at Wikipedia, thinking “Hm. I think I watched a little bit of the Live season. And didn’t I check out Jones-Sonnen?” I’m not sure how much of the Lesnar-dos Santos and Bisping-Miller seasons I watched, though I’m confident I watched a handful of the early episodes. I watched most of GSP-Koscheck, if not the whole thing. And I’m positive I watched the entire heavyweight season with Rampage and Rashad.

So, I haven’t watched the show regularly over the past three years, and I don’t really care. But I decided to give the Rousey-Tate season a chance because, hey, it’s on right after the fights and what else am I doing?

And it’s…the same thing. I shouldn’t be surprised. They’ve tweaked the show. Bringing the families into Vegas is a nice touch, and gives you a quick way to meet and relate with the fighters. The cinematography and editing looks improved, mostly. Mostly. They’re using some sort of filter during the fights that is distracting and uncomfortable to watch.

When you boil it down, though, it’s the same thing we’ve seen for the last 8 or 9 years. I didn’t see any talent that made me feel funny in my pants outside of Shayna Baszler, who is playing the role of Roy Nelson/Mac Danzig/ringer ringer chicken dinger this season. Hell, Jessica Rakoczy is 1-3-1 as a pro!

I shut it off after the Baszler fight. The opener isn’t the best metric for judging the show, but I imagine I’ll only check out any further episodes if I’m home and not doing anything and someone reminds me and I don’t feel like playing NHL 14 or GTA V. And even then. I mean, I guess if Ronda Rousey goes FULL CRAZY or something. But even then.

 

Mike Fagan is a weekly contributor to MMA Owl. He also hosts Untethered MMA every Thursday at 7 p.m. ET at FightFansRadio.com, also available as a podcast via iTunes.

 

 

 


Marlene Taborda